I went to a political debate. It was boring.

Excruciating is a good word for it.

The local candidates, all nine of them, lined up to have a "debate" which was really just them reading off a set of pre-prepared answers to a series of pre-prepared questions one after another. Where was all the excitement and drama?

A political debate should involve conservative candidates shouting "with what money?!", with an incredulous expression on his/her face, every time some leftard opens his/her fat mouth to spew forth an "idea".

During this Canadian election campaign, the Liberals and the NDP have been making lots of nonspecific promises about how their going to fix things that aren't broken in an increasingly desperate attempt to dislodge Stephen Harper from power.

The Liberals are going to fix the deficit, "without raising your taxes",

"We will cancel unnecessary and unaffordable tax cuts for the largest corporations, reverse wasteful spending habits and focus on what really matters – giving every Canadian the tools to succeed in the years ahead."

Ah, so by raising our taxes, then. [hint for leftards: cancelling a tax cut = a tax raise. It isn't rocket science, you tools]

And forgive me for being an old crusty reactionary, but don't Canadians already have the tools, as it were, to succeed?

And what of immigration, something that Canadians actually care about?

"After five years of reductions in family class immigration under the Harper government, Liberals will restore balance by increasing family class visas."

Balance eh? These family class visas are the ones that certain scammers and schemers use to marry off mentally handicapped relatives to complete strangers to "get" their entire extended families to Canada, taking immigration policy out of the hands of Canadians and into the mitts of fraudsters and crooks. Nice.

Any net benefit to Canada derived from bringing in a productive immigrant is immediately undone by the collection of elderly relatives that tag along long enough to embed themselves in the generously-funded state healthcare system. Canada: healthcare and welfare provider to the world.

Oh, and after two years of residence, only 58% of immigrants aged 25-44 actually are in employment, which is a lot lower than the Canadian population at large.

Anyway, the New Democrats (NDP) have little more productive to offer. They want to:

end the restrictive immigration measures based on secretive, arbitrary decisions by cabinet ministers;

Which is more or less what I've just said. And here's something fun:

Reinstate federal funding for the settlement of new Canadians cut by Stephen Harper. Funding will assist with literacy, community integration and orientation, including bridging, mentorship, English and French as a second language programs and resource centres;

Well I've been here close on 18 months and nobody has ever tried to resettle me. I'd imagine the ancestors of 99% of Canadians didn't have any settlement funding or "community integration" programmes either. Immigrants embed themselves in communities made up of people of their own nationality. How about just "settling" fewer immigrants? Just a thought.

Anyhow, the highlight of the debate was where Susan Keeping, the NDP candidate, declared that they would tax "the corporations", because - get this - "the corporations" have tons of money and wouldn't notice it missing!

I think I should run for election next year just so I can abuse the vacuous folks that populate these things.